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They Don't Like It Up 'Em! (part 1): The Wrong End of the Bayonet

There are some things to remember that help you play Diplomacy better. Some of them are tactical, some of them strategic; some are about the way you communicate, or negotiate.

Very few of these things are a collective of everything to do with Dip. Knowing how to take action to prevent defeat, and knowing when to carry home your advantage, are two of these.

Any excuse to get a belly button on the blog. www.artistshot.com/
There are times when you'll find yourself in the position of having a Diplomacy opponent who is being very aggressive towards you. Unfortunately, this might be by being nasty; even in a game like Dip there are still those idiots who think being online is a free pass to let out the abusive side of their natures.

More often it will be part of the game. They're able to press you relentlessly and they intend to take it. There's nothing wrong with this; it is part of the game. It's a tactic that enables the aggressor to grow and which means that an opponent - you - can be eliminated.

Hopefully, there will be times when you're the one in this position of power. At this point, you need to decide what you want to do: do you want the power eliminated, or do you need her to stay around? What is the best for you in the game?

The Wrong End of the Bayonet

You've erred. Your neighbour is eating his way into your empire. You didn't see the stab coming (or, even worse, you did see the potential but you looked the other way); you were - are - caught up in a conflict with another power, and you can't disengage safely. What can you do?

Frankly, not much. And that's the point; if there was something you could do, you wouldn't be in this position, would you?

What remains, then, is diplomacy. You should have laid the foundations for this situation a while ago. You should have made the early communications you need to build on now. You did, didn't you?

What am I talking about? OK, look here and you'll get the idea, I hope.

Recognise your position...

Begging isn't something that anyone should be proud of doing, so let's call it pleading. Essentially, this is what you'll be doing. You'll wrap it up in strategic discussion, but everyone will know the truth - you're in trouble and you need their help.

If you try to negotiate with anyone, at this point, and try to hide the position you're in, you'll get nowhere. Try to pretend that you're in control of everything, try to bluster, and they'll be laughing at you behind their keyboard.

So be honest, with yourself and with others. You're in deep shit and you need help getting out of it.

... But sell what you can offer

Being weak isn't the same as being useless. Whoever you approach to help you, you need to find something that interests them about keeping you alive. You won't be able to offer it now, perhaps, but - should you remain in the game - you will be able to offer it in the near future.

The word 'near' is important. Why should anyone be willing to keep you around if they have to wait more than a game year or (at most) two to get something back from you? A lengthy wait for some reward is potentially useless. By that point, they may not need anything from you.

Don't ignore your oppressor

Talk, too, to the player attacking you. It is so easy to stop doing this, but it's important that you don't. It may seem futile but it is important.

You need to point out what you can do if she were to let you survive. Whatever you tell her, it has to be better than what she can gain from eliminating you.

You need to point out the danger is continuing to attack you. Is she leaving herself open to attacks from others? Is she letting someone else make progress by targeting you? Are others going to get as much from your collapse as she is?

Don't threaten, not at this point. That will come later. For now, you're selling the advantage of you being her vassal, or warning of what is happening as a result of her continuing aggression.

Oh, and it doesn't matter whether you actually mean what you say. You do need to make her believe that you mean what you say, especially when making promises. But that's the essence of diplomacy anyway... especially in Diplomacy.

I'll write more about this is further posts.
Heathley Baines (Nibbler)
Editor

The Series "They Don't Like It Up 'Em!"
Part 1: "The Wrong End of the Bayonet"
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