They Don't Like It Up 'Em! (part 2): When All Else Fails

There are some things to remember that help you play Diplomacy better. Some of them are tactical, some of them strategic; some are about the way you communicate, or negotiate.

Very few of these things are a collective of everything to do with Dip. Knowing how to take action to prevent defeat, and knowing when to carry home your advantage, are two of these.

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When all else fails

Sometimes aggression has to be answered with aggression, even if it's passive aggression. There are two ways to do this.

1. On the board: Here, you're going to throw everything at your aggressor. Forget about what's going on elsewhere on the board - it doesn't matter now. Perhaps you are going to lose out by being pig-headed in full-on defence or counter-attacking. But that's the point of it: your oppressor has to see that what she's doing is costing you - and by extension - her. You're on the way out, anyway.
2. Off the board: By now, you should know that you can't ignore diplomacy. Well, this isn't so much diplomacy as the issuing of an ultimatum or even being deliberately provocative. The ultimatum is about threatening to throw you position away, either to your aggressor (as a way of forcing others to act) or to third power (to force your aggressor to re-think what she's doing). The provocation needs to be targeted, thought through, and looked at more closely.

Causing Offence

There is nothing wrong with being provocative, however you take action. There is a caveat to this, which I'll come to below, but what I mean here is that you need to decide what you're going to do.

You can be provocative by being offensive... but here's the caveat. What you're doing, hopefully, is being deliberately offensive in a managed way. You don't want to be making threats that have nothing to do with the game. You don't want to be abusive; there's a difference between being offensive and being abusive.

Some people will take offence at anything. Call them an idiot and they'll start shouting about it. For others, it's swearing that sets them off. These people need to grow a tougher shell. Closets are cramped places to live your life.

There certainly is no need to be racist, genderist, abusive about sexual orientation, etc. There's no need to be making threats away from, or outside of, the game. There ought to be a limit, a line in the sand. After all, it's a game.

The point of this, though, is that you're trying to throw the player off her game. It isn't being personal, although that may be an aspect, it's about using mind games to achieve an end.

Not everybody will agree that this is a bona fide strategy. They hold fast to being respectful at all times. Fair enough. I tend to avoid this strategy myself, on the whole. But there's no reason everyone has to live within these ethical guidelines. To some extent, you draw your own lines, although I'd hope that sites would have some absolute limits of some kind about this.

Chainsaw Diplomacy

This is a different tactic altogether. I'd like to say I'd thought of it, but I didn't. Paul Walker might not have invented the term either but he did write about it. To summarise what he said:

"Chainsaw Diplomacy is the press equivalent of bareknuckle [sic] fighting. It is press that is deliberately designed to be upsetting and unnerving to the recipient. After reading an effective Chainsaw dispatch, a potentate should be trembling. He should be thinking: "My God! I've got a madman on my hands!" Chainsaw press is irrational, demanding and/or intimidating. It should not even admit of the possibility of a reasonable reply. An effective piece of Chainsaw press should leave the recipient 100% certain that the letter writer is going to do exactly as he says. It's fundamental purpose is to deliver a message which cannot be ignored, even by the most suspicious, and usually with all of the subtlety of a black rose valentine.

"That being said, let me also state what Chainsaw Diplomacy is not. It is not crude. Foul language has no place in any press, including Chainsaw press. It is not insulting - threatening perhaps - but not insulting. Name calling will not serve the purpose of getting your message across. It is not venting your spleen. Chainsaw press may be crafted to appear like an emotional outburst, but it never should be. It is a cool, calculated attempt to acheive [sic] by unreasonable statements, threats and demands, that which you were unable to acheive [sic] previously through reasonable negotiation."

[Walker, P. Chainsaw Diplomacy; The Diplomatic Pouch, Winter 1998 Adjustments]

What 'Chainsaw Diplomacy' is, then, a real last resort. It should be a way to break an otherwise inescapable situation on the board. Walker suggests that it should be published in 'press', messages that can be read by all; I also think it can be part of power-to-power messaging.

What you're trying to do is embarrass a player by showing others what a devious sod she is. You're trying to show that, once she's finished with you, she'll move on to other 'allies'. She's untrustworthy and will stab you just like she stabbed me.

The point of being provocative, whatever tactic you employ, is to break an existing pattern and give yourself a chance that, otherwise, you wouldn't get.

Always control yourself, though. Players are only human; if your strategy leads to you appearing abusive, especially if it seems to unnecessary, you'll build a poor reputation. You don't want that; it will lead to becoming a target in all games.

Heathley Baines (Nibbler)

Editor

The series "They Don't Like It Up 'Em!"

Part 1: "The Wrong End of the Bayonet"

Part 2: "When All Else Fails"

Part 3: "You're in Charge!"